Hey guys! This month has been incredibly busy but in the best way possible. As some of you may know if you follow me on Instagram @livelifeonmedge (shameless plug) I have great news! I have an internship at Snapchat's "Sweet!"
I have been hooked to their content once Snapchat added the news feature and it has been the most fulfilling experience so far. The mornings are early and days are long but it is completely worth it. I'm learning so much and can already see the change in my creative writing/thought process. I feel like I'm on another level and just beginning to see what work God has in store for me.
This is coming from the girl who was s-h-o-o-k about stepping foot into New York last summer! Remember
? Now, there's a pep to my step and I walk with my head taller knowing that the effort I put into my past experiences (internships at school, working on my craft, research etc.) led me to where I am today.
I made a promise to myself once I began the internship search process: don't be anything other than myself. I was ridiculously shy at Byrdie and it wasn't until near the end that I felt comfortable enough to be me. I asked God to reveal to me how I could change for the better. I prayed that my work ethic grew. This spring, this summer--it's all about me.
Others might not want me to prosper and on a bad day, I will think the same as the naysayers. God believes I have every right to walk in my purpose and so that's what I choose to believe today. I don't want to repeat my lack of confidence from last summer, I am focusing on movement and positive settings this time around.
Life is all about learning lessons and I have recognized that moving upward can't be boggled down by negativity. As embarrassing as it is to admit, once I found out that I received the internship, not all of my friends were happy for me. It's funny learning who will really cheer you on and who wants the attention instead.
Your own friends may want you to remain at the same level to build their own confidence. Your own friends may strive to do the exact things you are doing even if there is a path carved out with their name on it. The lessons will s-t-i-n-g and hit you where you least expect it yet it isn't the end. While friends may change, God remains the same even in the moment you forgot your biggest supporter was rooting for you to win the whole time.
I've realized that in remaining in toxic situationships, I downplay the blessings God has showered down on me. In turn, I lack the confidence to think bigger or believe I have the right to.
The expectations of others, especially low ones, can affect which level you climb to. What's important: using that to push you up. If you want to think of the heartbreak, the loss, the sour relationships; use them as a stepping stone to go higher. Never let the outside affect the joy inside of you. Root for yourself, you're not alone.
When you don't know what to do about those toxic relationships, remind yourself these key facts:
- I deserve better
- I don't deserve to be treated less than the crown God placed on my head
- I deserve to celebrate myself the same way I do for others
- I owe it to God to trust His process
Never lose sight of your worth or you will be stuck in a cycle of putting your happiness on the back-burner. You will end up suffocating trying to please others because there will always be someone trying to point you where you're not supposed to be.
When I found I out I was offered the position as Editorial Intern, I called Tarah ASAP. I read the email over and over making sure I didn't make a mistake. Earlier that day, I was turned down for another internship and while I wasn't devastated, I began to doubt if I would be with Sweet. Little did I know, I brought sadness upon myself by scrolling past the congratulation email and choosing to beat myself up about the rejection. Joy was within reach the whole time.
Take the setbacks as a lesson that better is yet to come! If I only just took my time instead of moping, and accepting rejection, I would've seen where I was going. It's time to end toxic behavior and to end toxic relationships.
Make these upcoming months about you and be completely unapologetic about it. Don't put yourself on hold for anyone. You will see who was a part of the lesson and who is there in the grand haul. It never is easy learning that the ones closest to you never understood who you were. Its never easy realizing your close ones want you to slow down so they could keep up. There is no competition in friendship.
The bitter emotions may arise and you might want to head into that cycle once again but God doesn't take you out of a situation just for you to run back to it.
Drop the toxin and inhale new life. Do you.