My senior year of college has never been so unsettling.
I’m only taking 3 classes (one online) with Tuesdays and Thursdays off and I’m interning remotely with Gorgeous in Grey. I thought this semester would be pretty chill. I thought I’d be sleeping in more (which is true). I thought I’d have a whole lot more time for my blog (false). I thought I’d just be freeeeeeeeee!
Well, it’s on and off. I’m super busy and when I’m not, I feel off because it’s like I should be doing something! Weird, huh? But through the many homework assignments and traveling to and fro from the city, I’ve just been going through multiple tests that were supposed to drain me. I’m talking physical, spiritual and all of that, people.
My recent obstacle has been fighting hopelessness.
I’ve been searching high and low for jobs I want to apply to. I keep the tabs open for weeks, applying to them at least two at a time when I get the chance. I’ve applied to about 13 jobs in 2 months. I haven’t heard back from not one.
Oh wait, I lied. I did and it was a no! I applied for the NBC Page Program and didn’t get in.
Not hearing back was making me feel like all my hard work was in vain. My mind was like, “Word, God?! Not even an interview?!” I began to think that I would just go back to retail until I found something, or something found me. I began to think that I could work for myself. And while that is my end goal, I want it to be a choice, not my only option!
I was feeling super hopeless because I can’t even find a job, ya know?! I slaved over my books these 4 years. Yes, I love academia and I couldn’t imagine doing school any other way but an encouraging factor of attending university and working so hard is to get a job. A job job job. I’ve never doubted God when it came to my future. I always knew what’s mine is mine. I always knew He would make a way. But the future is fast approaching and I’m just like, “Heheh, just waiting on You, God…just waiting…yup, still waiting.
Man, I was feeling agitated. You know when you just want to be upset? So you huff and puff to yourself just because you can? Well, I took full advantage. I found myself in a state of self-pity for like a day. It was raining and just perfect. I could feel hopeless in peace.
I talked to my mom, Medge and best friends about it and they were all like, “You have plenty of other accomplishments!” and “Things are going to be okay” and “God has never failed you.”
And while all they said were true, you don’t think of all that when your hope is vanishing. All you want is what you want, especially when you’re in the dark with no opportunity seemingly in sight.
That changed. No, I didn’t get a job. No phone call. No email.
I got a word. Or, several.
Week after week, I’ve been hearing sermons that literally catered to my every thought concerning my future. I’m telling you, the encouragement alone slapped me right into shape. I’ve been in church literally shaking my head like, “Wow, God. You hear me. I’m sorry for doubting you.”
He is our Hope, people!
But okay, okay. I’m not here to preach. I’m here to give some tips on what you should do when hopelessness comes. I’m still waiting to see what God wants for me but in the meantime, I want to share 4 tips I’ve embraced while getting my hope back.
No self- pity allowed! And if you do, you’re only allowed a day. No more!
Literally inhale and exhale, girl! Do it slowly. Relax. Listen to your heart beat and be grateful for today. Go walk! Sit outside and look around you. Look up. Count the clouds in the sky. Smile towards the sun.
Doing these things seriously makes me feel so much better, no matter the situation.
2. Talk To A Friend
Don’t keep your feelings inside. It’s not healthy – trust me, I used to be like, “Emotions? What’s that?” I was Queen Be-Strong-Hold-Everything-In. But over the years, I’ve gotten way better. Like, way.
Apparently, people are touched when you share your feelings!
But it doesn’t only benefit them. It benefits you. It’s cathartic; you’ll feel restored by not just releasing your feelings but by having your loved one speak life to you.
3. Recount Prior Blessings
MAJOR KEY. I think it’s really essential to keep note of your accomplishments. Look at your resume. Or your journal or note pad! Wherever you store your happy times, thats where your eyes and heart need to be. If you’re a Christian, read verses like that remind you of God’s promises for your life. Jeremiah 29:11 (GW) — I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope.
This year, I’ve made it my duty to write a blessing or happy moment I’ve had everyday. I’ve been doing pretty good! I have a couple blank spaces in March and April but still pretty consistent in keeping tabs!
You should’ve known this one was coming, right? Not only can you pour out your frustrations to your friends, you can pour it all out to the One who will listen at anytime of the day and won’t tire of your voice.
You can be even more vulnerable. You can cry. You can yell. You can be angry. You can be you.
Maybe you won’t hear His voice. Maybe you will. One thing for certain is that He will give you peace and He will give you hope…if you ask for it.