Happy New Year!

I, for one, am particularly happy 2017 is here. 2016 went by rather fast but it was the most difficult time of my life. I experienced so much pain this year…in a way that I didn’t even know was possible.

God has been wrecking your girl!

2016 was a blessed year but it was also one of severe pruning. Literally, not one aspect of my life went untouched. I’ve been handling life “well.” I’m a person who is always composed and in control of her feelings, no matter what I’m going through. However, in 2016, different parts of my life went for the worse seemingly all at once and then towards the end, a trickling of the final straws going one by one.

I was tested in all areas in the most shocking and hurtful ways. Everything I put stock in…everything I thought I could take control of…Everything I thought was good and manageable for me. Self-image. Friendships and other relationships. My mother’s illness. Still working retail after graduating top of my class. Losing an old friend to gun violence. Losing my uncle in a hit and run. Losing another uncle in a bus accident. From disillusionment to loss to heartbreak and everything in between – you name it, I was tested.

Throughout it all, I felt attacked. I had to remind myself that God is a loving father so you know, I was “good.” I was handling everything well until the end of the year. Things really hit the ground and I was just like. Nah. You let THIS happen to me?! What the heck is going on here?! What did I do?! 

Finally, I couldn’t put on a brave face anymore. Not for my family, not for my coworkers, not for my church. It had gotten to a point where I had to fully address the unimaginable pain that I’ve been actually feeling. I got to a point where my heart was screaming, OUCH. That hurt. It hurts. And quite frankly, I was tired.

All The Way Up…

Even though I know God must be working on something crazy good for me, it doesn’t stop the pain. I knew the lesson being taught but it didn’t stop the tears. When you have no other place to put your full everything into, you’re forced to realize where you should’ve found your everything all along. When you’re at rock bottom you realize that it is only the love of Christ that can lift you up. I mean, where else were you gonna go?!

2016: Year of “Realizing Stuff”

I don’t regret anything I’ve been through because I had to in order to fully know this for myself…in order for me to grow. 2016 was a year of revelation. I’ve realized that as cliche as it may sound, in order for you to live your life in sincere joy, God will take you to a place where your only option is to rely on Him solely!  You’ll need to experience it for yourself, by yourself.

The Enemy will try to use what’s most important to you as weapons against you but be equipped with the reminders of God’s promises. Even in my brokenness, I couldn’t let go of the fact that I have hope and a future to be excited about. And though I may not feel it now, I’ll see it later.

God broke me down last year in order to lift me up this year. And I’m coming for all that’s lost. I’m regaining my energy and I’m here to conquer. I refuse to look at my situations as hopeless. Now, I have no choice but to give Him all the burdens I’ve been carrying. I feel like I can breathe again; I already feel lighter.

Write out your blessings, so when you look back in December, you can remind yourself of all of them! I’m so happy that I decided to write down each good in the duration of 2016, it made looking back a much grateful experience. I don’t know what this will be the year of. But I’m thankful for God’s grace. He kept me…and He kept you.

I pray we get to experience God’s love like never before. I pray for clarity and peace of mind. I pray we are able to confidently walk into our futures with our purposes in clear view.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, new smile, new joy, new life. You’re not who you were once were and that’s something to celebrate.

Photography by Dexterity Productions