I’ve always been sure of myself. Well, actually, it kicked in while in high school. But even when I was a super shy girl, I was matter-of-fact when I decided to speak up. You know that quote: Keep your heads, heels and standards high? Yeah, that’s totally me.
I was raised to carry myself with dignity and grace, to show respect for others and myself, and to simply “be a light.” In other words, I should be Godfident (trusting in what God can do and who He is to the point where you radiate with blessed assurance). *Godfidence: a trust in who He is/what He can do to the point where you radiate w/ blessed assurance Click To Tweet
Sidebar: I made up that definition myself, you like? 🙂
This past year, all these things took on a different meaning for me. They were no longer just engrained lessons, but were developed so intricately that they’ve become me. In other words, I had no other choice than to carry myself as such. And if you know me, or have been following me, you know that last statement was far from cocky!
Since being so career-driven coincides with what my purpose/calling is, I’ll focus on that.
Upon graduating college, I’ve found myself in a few situations where I dimmed that light of Godfidence. You know when some people praise you in person and you feel like you have to downplay it in order to not seem “full of yourself?” I kinda did that.
I’m typically an enthusiastic and warm person when I’m greeting anyone, even at networking events. But when I attended one in the beginning of summer, I was all those things, except sure of myself. A young woman working at Time, Inc. approached me and wondered what my end career goal was and I gave a damp and safe answer. DAMP, y’all.
I was a bit hesitant to say what I aimed to be. As time went on that night, I got more confident in saying my career plan but still, the fact that I suppressed my vision like that kind of got to me. Like, Tarah-Lynn, this is not you!
But it happened again.
At a family event over the summer, my cousin was congratulating me on my achievements and tried to pick my brain on exactly what I wanted to do. This time, I said it. But I ended it with “I hope.”
Church members would ask if I got a job yet and after I would reply with “not yet,” they would assure me it would happen soon. What did I say?
Yeah, you guessed it — “I hope!”
I thought I was being humble by not asserting my trust in God’s plan for my career life. But actually, it’s quite disrespectful to your Maker and yourself not believing in what is for you.
Now, I know that it wasn’t just my lack of belief at the time, it was also a lack of patience. I had unconsciously put a time stamp on God’s plan to execute so when He didn’t show up soon enough, I slipped a little bit. It wasn’t doubt but whatever it was, I did it in order to protect myself.
But here’s the thing: there is a difference between hope and expectancy.
I mean, when it comes to what you say about your future, at least. Hope is wanting something to happen. Expectancy is knowing it will. When it comes to what has been promised over your life, “hope” cancels out and is replaced with “expectancy.”Click To Tweet
There’s nothing wrong with hope — in fact, we’re told to put our hope/trust in God. Both have this in common: you can hurt yourself by your unbelief.
So this 22nd year of life, I’m walking in the light of authority.
Like, my Godfidence is on a whole other level! You have to be even more assertive in the real world so there’s not even the slightest hesitancy. I know what I will be because I know who my God is. All dreams may not come true but God’s promises does.
I’m not tiptoeing over what was said over my life. Not in the midst of despair, not ever. I will remain in the Light and claim what’s for me as boldly as I should. Walking in God’s promises calls for all the audacity in the world.
The Master of Authority rules over my life, so I can live fully, boldly, audaciously, completely and wholeheartedly — without a doubt knowing that I can speak my dreams into the atmosphere.
Year 22, it’s lit. I declare this year of authority. And so forth.
Photography by Domonique Boss
Jumpsuit – ASOS
Heels – PD