Waiting: I hate it. I like to know what’s next and what’s going on.

So when I began to apply for internships, my thought process wasn’t any different. I confidently applied in the beginning of April, prepared to be set for the summer. But something strange happened — unsettling even. I wasn’t getting any answers.

Legit CRICKETS. It drove me crazy! I started to doubt myself and whether I could actually work at the companies.

Being impatient causes you to make bad decisions. When I wasn’t getting the answers right away, I began to apply to internships that I wanted NOTHING to do with in the future. I just wanted to be able to say “yes, I have an internship.” To calm myself down, I began two devotionals. In this process I learned to sit back and stop trying to control the show.

The current version of myself is the right version in this moment and time. 

One day in the midst of my gotta-find-an-internship craze, Tarah told me of a great opportunity to write at Byrdie.com, the sister site of Who What Wear. Byrdie is a tech savvy site about beauty and health (two things I’m really into). I immediately emailed the editor, excited to have a month upper-hand over the potentials who didn’t even know the company wanted interns.

Obviously, I was still trying to master the waiting thing. After I applied, I was back to complaining and feeling down about not having an internship. I checked my mail over and over and over again for a response.

Then I got a devotional, Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence, that changed my mindset on waiting for good. It read that there is a difference between the way you wait: passively or actively. The passive waiter is basically a couch potato, throwing self-satisfying pity parties. The active waiter gets into the habit of not knowing and this prepares them for whatever is thrown at them.

The verse of the day was Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”…immediately I felt the weight lifted off my shoulders. Later on, I casually checked my email and BAM —  the Byrdie editor wanted to meet up with me! 

Being patient allows you to appreciate the process and see it as something to learn from. When the editor finally emailed me back, not only was it unexpected but it was exciting! I literally screamed and didn’t know what to do. I was so happy to get a reply that it made working with Byrdie even more thrilling.  

It was and is a battle to keep in contact because emails weren’t consistent. I would ask what day to meet up and would have to wait for days. I had to double email (I felt so annoying) but it paid off and she realized how passionate I was. After a couple more emails and waiting, I landed an interview and it was an awesome experience.

In my waiting, I was able to learn a lot about the company, makeup, hair, health —  you name it. I happily left the interview knowing that if I rushed the process I wouldn’t have the poise, knowledge or genuine interest in talking about why I wanted to intern there. This experience has been intense but being patient allowed me to enjoy every bit of it.

Currently I am completing an edit test that basically shows if I am the right candidate. I would love to be able to say I have the internship but here’s the thing: I don’t know! There’s a chance that this process was only a lesson and I’m willing to take it in stride.

There is something in store that is literally going to be bigger than you imagined or even dreamed of. Knowing that those opportunities are there means you have to continue to better yourself and your craft. Take this waiting period and get active in the pursuit of your desired outcome.

Much love,

Medge