I was having a great conversation with my dad yesterday — it was the kind where you figure out future plans together or try to get one another to understand future plans that one is trying to set in motion.  A nice father-daughter convo where I explain how I’m aiming to “get my life.” The topic? Grad school and jobs.

My school of choice is NYU. I was telling him how I was planning on going back to school in January (I wanted to take a break from school for a couple of months) but guess what? NYU only accepts admission for the fall! And guess what, again? I missed the deadline for this fall 2016. Yeah, kinda beat! *Insert creepy upside-down smiley emoji here.*

I really really want to attend NYU so I told my dad that I’ll just go next September. He pondered a bit and then started throwing out the names of some of the best schools in the country. I refused most, thought “hmm” for some and said I’d look into them.  And I really will.

Next order of business? Jobs.

Right now, I’m working at my old retail job, ALDO. I’m also running this site of mine. But since it’s not making much and because working retail isn’t my dream career, I find myself feeling off here and there because I’m not where I want to be. You guys know that I’m always up to something so me waiting feels like…nothing. Just empty space.

Pops was telling me in a more eloquent matter that basically “it’s real out here” in the job market and that I should go back to school for my Master’s to beat out my competitors. True and true.

He also advised me to take any professional job in Communications and to just work my way up. You know, because at least I’d get my feet wet and be more exposed to the job I actually want. And I have absolutely no problem working my way up. Heck, I’ve been at the bottom! But although all that he said was right, I couldn’t find myself saying yes to a job that was the complete opposite of me.

I was thinking: is this a millennial thing? Am I being picky? Is it wrong to say “no” to other jobs just because I want to be happy there? Because I want to be led there?

Honestly, I don’t know! And I do know now that I’m not being picky, I’m just trying to be about peace. I don’t want to say “yes” if I feel God is telling me “no, hold on.”

So, what to do when you have no future plans?

Girrrrrl. Sometimes you just have to explore your options and honestly, sometimes you gotta wait.

It’s not passive. Waiting is a verb. It’s action in itself.

Proverbs 16:9 — People can plan what they want to do, but it is the Lord who guides their steps.